Loss

I was young
I needed you
yet you still had to go
an awful disease
my youth taken
I had to grow up
see with new eyes
my heart broken
my life on another path
I was alone
on a path I had not chosen
a path that was chosen for me
one that I was born to walk
the real me

I am older
wiser
my heart is bigger
because of my loss
my loss is who I am
more so than the life before
you died
I am breathing because you gave me life
I am living because you
died
my heart still aches
dreams of loss
I am still here walking my path
with my own family
my heartache still there
though it is something
I can live with
It is dull but
a reminder of who I am
who you were
Mother

Halloween 2008

Luke Skywalker and Indiana Jones. Tons of candy. Great night.

My new Old Jeans

These jeans were once Scott's Uncle Doug's. When he was in the Navy! They are so cute. The moths at Yankanuck I think ate some of the jean so I put a butterfly patch on them. Cute huh?

For Shirani

Inside the barn. Not that spectacular right now. One day we will have our very own Sadie Hawkins Dance, and everyone is invited!

First day of school

Adie started Kindergarten this year and Nicolas is in the 4th grade. Adie had a hard first week but now it is all good. He already has made good friends and hopefully we will have a few playdates after school this week. Nicolas as usual has a gaggle of friends. They are all the biggest dorks on the planet. I am learning most 4th grade boys are. Nicolas starts playing the violin this week, tomorrow in fact. When he really starts to practice I will post some video footage so you amy all here the beautiful sounds of beginning violin.

Sunflowers

This spring we planted a ton of sunflowers along side of our barn. We had a pretty good crop. I just love them. I am so bad about blogging these days. Well I guess for the past year. I want to blog but I can't. I will try to post atleast pictures for all two of you who may still check in on me. Xoxoxo, N

Sprinkler+Trampoline=

Double the fun! See?

Our Public Pool

We went to our public pool tonight. It was short and sweet just how Mama and Daddy like it.. I just put my feet in. I know I am tons of fun. I don't like cold water.. I won't swim until August. I am weird, I know. I am not a water person. I ma glad the kids are not like me... It is lonely.

Indian Brook

It was a gorgeous day!! Scott and Adie took the canoe to fish and I just paddled around in the kayak(thanks Sally and Wicker). I would go off and float and read then paddle back to the boys and see what they have caught. Adie caught 2 large mouth bass and a perch. He has so much patience.. Thank goodness for my book or wouldn't last as long as the boys..

By the way I started the Wednesday Letters last night and I am about 50 pages away from being done.. I like it.

My Art Journal

So here are some pictures of my art journal that I made in my own "art camp". I went to a junk store and bought a few used children's books and then gesso'd them. I got sick of gesso(ing) so I just painted a background color over the pages. The only thing I don't like is the fact that everything is wet and you can only do one page a day... It was awesome to take all of my supplies and collections and strew them across the floor and let anyone use what moved them. It was freeing... And messy. I had to use the kitchen for it is the biggest room in our house... Seeing that it is the kitchen I did have to clean up "art camp" and move it all back up to my room where I have a corner.. I will have to set up again up there in hopes to create something EVERYDAY! I am not sure when this will happen though...
**I just finished my class I was taking.. I got an A! Now I am back at work for special-ed summer school. It is crazy. There are a lot of kids but I think the worst part is that there is a lot of staff too! In fact I would love to vent more about this issue but I don't want to bore anyone...
***I want to start the book An Artist's Way but I want a book buddy so I have someone to discuss with.. Sort of like the Finding Water group last year. Anyone interested?
**Here is what I am starting to read....
Three Cups of Tea
The Wednesday Letters
Love in the time of Cholera (I am not loving this book)
I am off to go kayaking at Indian Brook Reservoir. We went last night and it was great but I didn't bring my camera. So today I am bringing my camera and hopefully post my beautiful oasis later.

My Version....

Dancing Mermaid is one inspiring chick.. I read her every post. In honor of her I declared Wednesday art camp day. I got out all my supplies invited friends over and created beautiful art journals. In fact I haven't taken down the "artcamp" yet. I find myself making sandwiches for the boys and then I look over and see all those paints and think I can paint a page. Here and there I I collage a journal page throughout my day. It is not ideal I suppose but it is a way to create when I have to be doing other things. Like making lunches, laundry etc... I am off to Smugglers Notch for a hike with the kids and Aunt Sally. I will post more later... I am hoping to back in full creative force because as of this morning I am officially done with my writing class! I loved taking it but I am glad I can work on being creative in another way. Also, my night-stand is overflowing with books that I want to start reading and some I need to finish. Here is my reading list right now:
Holidays on Ice by David Sedaris
The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time by Mark Haddon
Love in the Time of Cholera by Gabriel Garcia-Marquez
Sabines Notebook, The Gryphon, The Golden Mean all by Nick Bantock

Ooh and my other news... I won a Vera Bradley Tote at the local hallmark store.

Visit Dancing Mermaid-make an art journal!